tck

Apparently there are a whole bunch of us out there. I've been reading for the past hour, on the verge of tears - happy ones, the kind you cry when you come home after being away from it for years. If only I had known this when I was eleven.

When I was fourteen, a couple approached my mother while she was waiting for me to get out from school. Someone told us your daughter was on an advisory board for TCKs, the wife said. We want her to talk to our sons. Apparently they had returned from Singapore the year before, after having lived there for several years. Their sons - a 9-year-old and a 5-year-old - had undergone a drastic change since their move. Once honor students, they had slid into the bottom of their class; once active and sociable, they had become sullen and withdrawn. I don't know what to do for them anymore, she confessed, her eyes pained.

My mother introduced me to them as soon as I came over to her, and they told me their story. By that time their sons were there too, standing beside their parents. I spoke directly to them: This is normal, I said. The other kids might not understand why you're so different, but that's okay. It's okay to be different. I will never forget the look in the nine-year-old's eyes when he looked up at me - grief and anger and loss, and the tiniest, tiniest spark of hope underneath it all.

That's what I want to say, and what I want to hear, when I meet fellow TCKs. I'm normal. You're normal. It is the most comforting thing in the world to hear, coming from someone like me.

And from the other TCKs out there, something that made me laugh in self-recognition:

You Know You're a Third-Culture Kid When...

You can't answer the question: "Where are you from?" Sure I can ... as long as you don't ask me to answer that question in one word.

You speak two (or more) languages but can't spell in any of them. I CAN SO. Asian languages are tricky, though, since when they're written they tend to be spelled phonetically. There are accepted spellings, but generally if what you write looks like it's pronounced the same way, it's good.

You flew before you could walk. My mom flew me to HongKong before I was a year old because she was pissed at my dad ... so, yes.

You have a passport, but no driver's license. I used to have two driver's licenses until some asshole made off with my other wallet. Give it BACK, jackass, my Malaysian license was valid for TEN YEARS.

You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone or some place. Not really, but once I watched MTV and one of my former classmates was a VJ. A lot of my former classmates are now in showbiz, actually ... just not in the Philippines.

You have a time zone map next to your telephone. No, but I should. I suck at time zone calculations.

Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times. I actually thought everybody's life story did.

You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel. Emirates for international flights, Singapore Airlines for regional ones. Thai Airways is lovely because they give you free orchids. PAL, I am sad to say, sucks ass.

National Geographic makes you homesick. True. Which is why I don't watch it often.

You read the international section before the comics. And get irritated when they misspell names or get little details wrong ...

You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation. Wait, wait, qualify the word home. I used to go to college here, then spend part of my summer in Malaysia with my family and then head down to Singapore for a vacation.

You don't know where home is. It's not a where! It's a set of whos! - quoth questioncurl. I agree.

You sort your friends by continent. Also by timeline and the place I met them. Actually, they move around a lot so I'm not quite sure.

Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong. Yes, but then again this happens to people who don't watch sports very often. Except FUTBOL.

You know there is no such thing as an international language. Dude, come on, you've got to know at least four languages to function internationally.

Your second major is in a foreign language you already speak. No, but I'm the most fluent Tagalog-speaker in my entire bunch of TCK friends. Do I rock? Yes I do.

You realize it really is a small world, after all. Well, it is just one planet.

You feel that multiple passports would be appropriate. YES! I hate being treated like a stranger in the countries I lived in. It's like being an unwanted guest in your own house.

You watch a movie set in a foreign country, and you know what the nationals are really saying into the camera. - Yes. Hence I laugh harder in the cinema and everyone looks at me like I'm a crazy woman.

Rain on a tile patio - or a corrugated metal roof - is one of the most wonderful sounds in the world. True. No matter where I am, that sound makes me feel like I'm home.

You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price. I don't haggle - not even with the wet market people. Give me a price and I'll pay it.

Your wardrobe can only handle two seasons: wet and dry. Nope - it can handle a week or so of winter as well.

Your high school memories include those days that school was cancelled due to tear gas, riots, demonstrations, kidnappings, coup d'etats, or bomb threats. The Gulf War, the 1992 coup d'etat in Bangkok ... ah, good times.

You go to Taco Bell and have to put five packets of hot sauce on your taco. Please. I bring my own Tabasco.

You have a name in at least two different languages, and it's not the same one. Well, they used to call me Lychee in Bangkok because they couldn't pronounce my real name ... but I'm sure that's not what you mean.

You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet. True. I still get a little disoriented when people say I've got Visa! ... and pull out a card. It's like, Dude, where's your passport?

You automatically take off your shoes as soon as you get home. It's HYGIENIC.

Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around. Yeah, and I'm going to have to throw half of them away, too.

You won't eat Uncle Ben's rice because it doesn't stick together. Khao niao is your friend. Mmm, sticky rice.

Half of your phone calls are unintelligible to those around you. Depends on who I'm talking to, really.

You go to Pizza Hut or Wendy's and you wonder why there's no chili sauce. Like I said, I bring my own Tabasco.

You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country. I used to know the geography of South America like the back of my hand ... but I still don't know where Parañaque is.

You have best friends in 5 different countries. I'm not sure where all my best friends are ... but I have a lot of best friends. A best friend wherever I go, that's my motto.

You're spoilt. You know it. You're VERY spoilt. I'm sorry ... no I'm not. Because I am.